No More Hand-Holding

Dear Editor,

Hearing my professor speak about the issues of dependency

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and independency caused me to think about their impact. As a child at the store with my mother, I remember clutching her hand so I would not get lost in a sea of strangers as my tiny legs tried to keep up. I decided to break away for a split second to see the intriguing toys on the shelf. When I turned around, she was nowhere to be found. My heart began racing as I scanned each passerby, struggling to spot the safety of Mom’s face. As the tears welled up, her warm hand touched my shoulder. The tight feeling in my chest subsided. The few seconds without her had felt like hours! My parents were my protection, comfort, and guidance in life. This early glimpse into the world of independency was chaotic, frightening, and confusing. But I could not hold my parents’ hands forever.

Transitioning from dependency to independence isn’t always easy; yet it is necessary in order to experience life and grow as an individual. Relying on someone to make your decisions for you and constantly instruct you doesn’t allow for healthy growth toward independence. Being independent comes with a lot of responsibilities and consequences, both positive and negative. For teenagers like me it involves getting your first job, buying your first car, moving out of your childhood home, or even going away for college. Leaving the safe haven that you’ve relied on for comfort your entire life puts you into new, dangerous, and exhilarating situations in order to stop depending on the guidance of others. There is nothing wrong with asking for help or turning to people you trust for support, but you can’t hold someone’s hand your whole life.

My first major step toward independency started when I applied for my first job at the local Dairy Queen right after my 16^th birthday. I was immediately nervous and anxious, worried about messing up or forgetting what I would learn. On my first day of work I didn’t want to go, but I did because I wanted to make my own money and feel more grown up. I was able to handle the job and my 16-year-old self and my parents were proud.

My 17-year-old self’s definition of independence was passing my road test to get my license. I clearly remember driving for the first time without a parental chaperone. The idea of just getting in my own car and going wherever I wanted amazed me. It was pure happiness. It is true that I still feel safer when my mom or dad is behind the wheel, but I knew I had to wean myself away from the dependency on an adult.

Independence must be experienced firsthand. It was not easy to let go of the parental security blanket, but doing it did wonders for my confidence and growth. How can I discover my true self if I rely

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too often on someone else holding my hand? Being afraid of the world will get me nowhere in life. Interactions with new people and new places helps make us become an independent individual. We all need to make the transition to independence.

Sincerely,

Jessica Mara

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