Two Streams of Polygamy in America

Families throughout the ages have taken all shapes and sizes—particularly in patriarchal systems. For example, polygamy, the social arrangement that permits a man to have more than one wife at the same time, exists in all parts of the world. From our present knowledge, there are very few non-literate tribes in which a man is not allowed to enter into more than one union. In fact, some ethologists now believe that only one to two percent of all species may be monogamous (www.megaessays.com/viewpaper/41489.html). Among the 849 human societies examined by the anthropologist George Murdock (Social Structure, 1949), 75% practiced polygamy.

In America, we have moved from including the extended family under one roof, to the nuclear family, to the atomistic family (where the individual takes precedence over family ties). However, one branch of Mormonism, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), consists of some polygamous families that were once led by Warren Jeffs. These families believe in the Book of Mormon and see themselves as loyal followers of its sacred principle.

Most Mormon Fundamentalists believe that Armageddon is imminent. Warren Jeffs, the disgraced prophet of FLDS, was absolutely sure of it. In public statements Jeffs condemned the bloody work of Islamic terrorists, but viewed the attacks of 9/11 as a “magnificent portent and a cause for great hope.” Excitedly, he told his followers that the eruption of terrorism against the United States was an unmistakable sign that the “End Times” were indeed at hand, and very soon God’s chosen people would be lifted up to experience eternal glory (John Krakauer, Under the Banner of Heaven, 2003, 320).

In 2007, after a two-year manhunt that landed him on the FBI’s ten most wanted fugitives list, Jeffs’ reign was forcefully ended by his capture. He was convicted of rape as an accomplice for his role in arranging a marriage between a 14-year-old girl and his 19-year-old first cousin. (The conviction was overturned in July

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2010 and a new trial ordered.) Jeffs still believes that he committed no crime and that he is a man—and in fact a prophet—of God. Stephen Singular, in his book When Men Become Gods (2008), pointed out that as a leader and self-proclaimed prophet of the FLDS, Jeffs held sway over thousands of followers for nearly a decade. His rule was utterly tyrannical. In addition to coercing young girls into polygamous marriages with older men, Jeffs reputedly took scores of wives, many of whom were his father’s widows. Television, radio, and newspapers were shunned, creating a sheltered community where polygamy was prized above all else.

Singular traced Jeffs’ rise to power and the concerted effort that led to his downfall. His arrest and trial were spurred on by law enforcement, private investigators, the Feds, and, perhaps most vocal of all, a group of former wives of polygamy seeking to liberate young women from the arranged marriages they had once endured themselves. Biographies by Irene Spencer, Shattered Dreams (2007); Elissa Wall, Stolen Innocence (2008); and Carolyn Jessop, Escape (2007) reveal the subservience of underage girls forced into polygamous marriages with older men, and how they broke away from emotional and sexual bondage.

In contrast, a TV interview that I watched on October 14, 2010 by Oprah Winfrey of TLC’s reality TV show, “Sister Wives” stars Kody Brown and his polygamous family (consisting of his four wives Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn, and their 16 children) indicated a fairly well adjusted, contented group. Only Meri, the wife of 20 years, confessed to sometimes having feelings of jealousy brought to the fore prior to her husband’s marriage to Robyn, his fourth wife (www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Inside-the-Lives-of-a-Polygamous-family).

A separate sequence revealed a discussion between some-times-jealous Meri and her husband. Meri questioned how he would feel if she had an affair with another man. Kody, insisting that he loves all his wives, declared that “the vulgarity of the idea of you with two husbands or another lover sickens me. It seems wrong to God and nature.” He went on to say, “I understand this seems somewhat hypocritical and I don’t know how to get around it,” but asserted that he would not stop her.

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Oprah also questioned two of the adolescents in the Brown family. The adolescent boy stated that he calls his biological mother “Mother” and the other women in the family by their first names. He reported that he has many friends in school who live in traditional families, and his primary goal is to do well in high school and go on to college. Both he and his “biological” sister report that they enjoy living within such a large family system. They both maintain that they all love each other and get along well.

In Carolyn Jessop’s biography, Escape, she states, “Every woman in a plural marriage knows that her only power in life will come from her relationship to her husband…I felt hostile to Merril. I hadn’t wanted to marry him and never wanted to sleep with him. But I knew that my survival and the caliber of life I could provide for my children depended on my forging a relationship with Merril. Pleasing him or at least not aggravating him was a skill I was determined to master no matter what it cost me at a personal level. Sublimating my needs to his, felt natural to me at twenty-two. I knew this was how generations of women had lived in my family” (p. 178).

The Brown family interview would seem to reveal a sharp contrast to the polygamous families under the umbrella of the FLDS. If this is the case, it would appear that if coercion is not utilized and women are allowed to maintain choice and independence, the children of non-coercive polygamous families would be more apt to thrive with nurturing and love. On the other hand, it would be likely that offspring of women and girls who have been coerced into marriages may perhaps develop emotional and psychological problems. Any religious group that deprives its followers of the right to make choices, forces women to be totally subservient to men and brainwashes children in church-run schools is behaving in a criminal, or at least immoral, manner and needs to be exposed. More research needs to be done on the effects on children of polygamous families, even if they claim, as did the Brown children on Oprah, to be well-adjusted. This is especially the case for families in which women are totally subservient to their husbands.

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