Dreams of Cancer Patients Approaching Death

Dreams come to us from a very wise, supportive level of the unconscious throughout life— including as we approach death. Meaningful predeath dreams span all religions and cultures from ancient China, India, and Greece to modern times. There are many ways dreams can help us face death and dying.

Premonition dreams have helped people avoid death. These may be premonitions of accidents that the dreamer then avoids or knows how to deal with when faced with the situation. Others have had reassuring dreams of loved ones who have already passed over. Still others have had dreams of death that deepened their spiritual

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awareness of death and dying.

The vast majority of dreams about death are not literal but metaphorical. They can indicate death of a relationship, death of a job or career, death of an aspect of lifestyle—or they can also indicate death of mental, emotional, or spiritual patterns. But then there are also the dreams of death as the end of life. Early in my dream work with cancer patients I had a woman in the group struggling with ovarian cancer who had the following dream:

I am in a field. I am approaching a very long barn that is partially burned out. I walk in and there are antiques and toys and books and I am very drawn to them and want some of them to be mine. But it’s bad luck to take things that aren’t yours. There are other people who are just playing with the things that are there. They appear to have been in this building before and are familiar with it. I go upstairs to an upper room but it is a very modern room with modern furniture. It is airy with lots of light. I may move here one day, but I’m not ready now.

In working on the dream, the woman shared that cancer has made her look at things differently and discussed some of the conflicts she had been feeling, including conflicts about lifestyle changes. She looked at the upper room as being more lofty, more spiritual and indicative of her need to simplify her life. Yet, there was something about the clutter of the antiques downstairs that still attracted her.

She lived another year. The dream encouraged her to make changes, to explore her spirituality, and to prepare for a transition to that “upper room.” There was much healing that went on between the woman and previously estranged family members, who were with her when she passed.

Dreams of cancer patients who have completed treatment show an interesting number of dreams of death long after treatment. Why? My colleague Tallulah Lyons and I have worked with cancer patients for more than a dozen years. We hypothesize that the inner work that cancer survivors frequently continue after the end of grueling treatment may make it easier to explore the meaning of death. This was true of my own dream eighteen months after going into remission:

I am walking with my friend, Faith, and she tells me I will not live long. I protest and say that all of my blood tests have been fine. Then I come upon an old-fashioned oval standing mirror. As I look into it, the glass becomes misty, veil-like. I walk through to the other side and then back again. I walk through and back a second time, thinking to myself, “This isn’t hard.”

While I felt wonderful in the dream, I was terrified when I awoke, worried that my cancer had recurred and would indeed kill me. It was Monte Ullman who reassured me to go with the feelings in the dream. I did have a friend by the name of Faith who was with me during my cancer and both she and my best friend suggested the same possible interpretation, which resonated with me: During treatment I was busy trying to overcome my cancer; now I was finally able to face my mortality. That dream, more than a decade ago, made me realize than none of us lives “long” in the scheme of things, and gave me a sense of peace about the dying process.

Tallulah and I have heard repeated dreams about boat trips, crossing a river or body of water, doorways and windows. These themes often symbolize impending death. Many of those we have worked with had very realistic and assuring dreams of deceased loved ones that made them feel more comfortable with facing death.

However, not all pre-death dreams are comforting. Rosalind Cartwright, chair of Behavioral Sciences at Rush University Medical Center says, “I’ve had patients who woke up pounding on the mattress, very agitated, struggling with the idea that they’re going to lose this battle.” She believes these dreams are warnings of unresolved issues. As with our work, Cartwright has found that even nightmares, when worked with, will eventually evolve and may help the dreamer find peace.

Hospice chaplain Rev. Patricia Bulkley wrote the book Dreaming Beyond Death with her son (who spells his name slightly differently), Professor Kelly Bulkeley, a researcher and past president of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. In it they recount one woman’s dream where a candle on her hospital windowsill is

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snuffed out, engulfing her in darkness—a symbol of death that scares her, until the candle spontaneously relights outside the window.

In their book they say, “The inherent human capacity for pre-death dreams and visions is a fact of the utmost importance for the contemporary healthcare system. At the very least, hospital staff and all other professionals trained in care for the dying should be aware that these experiences happen with regularity and are a potentially beneficial resource in practical care giving work.”

Dreaming is a universal phenomenon. Our dreams are gifts during life—why shouldn’t they be gifts at the end of life as well? Those working with the dying can provide a great service by listening to such dreams and supporting the dreamer’s interpretation. These dreams can also provide comfort for surviving friends and family. For Tallulah and myself, these dreams near death that others have shared have been a great gift for us as well.

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